letter to dadDear Dad,I'm gay. Yeah that's right. I'm gay. You're pefect fucking screw-up has one more thing to add to his list of offenses. I try to be a good son. I try to fit in with your adult friends. I try my very fuckin best to get along with you. But HELL NO! you are a prick and a liar and a son of a bitch who only thinks about his own self image! I'm sorry I am gay, but it is NOT my fault. I was born this way. That means it's your fault dad. Yeah yours. How do you feel when you have a 10,000 pound weight on your shoulders every moment of every day? You don't know how it feels because you've never had to fucking deal with it! If you can't accept who I am that's fine, but can you at least pretendto love me still? No. I guess that would be too much to ask from the perfect father, who never screwed up a day in his life, or never did drugs in the sixties, or ever failed a paper. I'm sorry I'm not perfect, but I guess you'll just have to learn to live with it.Shove it up your insecure ass,
Rules of Great Literature1. I am a writer. It doesn't matter what I write (unless it's genre fiction, in that case I am a deluded fool that needs to be re-educated) or even the quality of said writings; by virtue of being in the company of other writers, I am a writer. Do not dare tell me otherwise. After all, writer's egos are notoriously fragile (comes from wallowing in all that angst) and we mustn't discourage the next Great Author of our time from gaining greater perspective of human nature by hanging around with others who are equally disconnected with reality (except when writing poetry about their ex).2. All Great Authors are published in an anthology. This is the best way to judge what is literature and what isn't – if it's in an anthology it is literature and the author is worthy to be heralded as a Great Author. Please note that the phrase Great Author should be repeated multiple times to drive the point home through all those deep thoughts writ
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